First of all, I need to say this: Anyone who has known me prior to this past January, knows that I have NEVER wanted to workout, nor did I ever willingly, workout. And I DEFINITELY never worried about what I ate. I thought worrying about calories, portions, processed vs. natural or any other mumbo jumbo about food, was pointless. I was naive enough and in enough denial to think that companies couldn't sell foods unless they had some kind of nutritional value to them. Eating anything was better than eating nothing, right?? And all of those people that so "nonchalantly" pointed out my weight issues and my bad eating habits, were just full of sh*t. I was fine. I mean, I had two babies and I still could fit into junior size clothing (though it didn't always look or feel the greatest). I wasn't about to admit that I had "let myself go." I didn't want to be one of "those" wives/mothers. But the truth was, that I had. I had made myself believe that I was the same size that I was in high school. I made myself believe that I was always a size 13/14...sometimes a 15. That or the clothing companies had just started making clothes smaller. But I began to dread finding clothes to put on, I hated how everything looked. I would always end up with shirts thrown all over the room and jeans crumpled up on the floor because I got so mad at the muffin top that they created when I put them on. And I'd have to fight back the tears of frustration. I didn't want anyone to know how embarrassed and ashamed I was, not even my husband. Especially, not my husband. In fact, I began creating a wall between myself and my husband. I tried to hide. He tried to reassure me that I still looked sexy to him, but I just brushed off his compliments and basically threw them back in his face. Eventually, he stopped trying. And as much as I hoped that one day he'd just look at me and say "Wow, you are beautiful. I can't believe you're my wife." I knew that it would never happen because I felt so ugly and so terrible about myself, that I had made it impossible for him to express any kind of appreciation for me.
I don't exactly know when I had reached my lowest point, maybe it was all my lowest. Maybe it was that 172# staring me in the face on the scale. I don't know. But something just snapped in me. I had met a new person that lived only a few blocks from my house. Our husbands actually knew each other for a long time but it was just kind of by fate, I guess, that I met her. But she was someone that would change my life, I just hadn't known it then. But one day I "friended" her on Facebook and I saw that she was owner/operator of "Get Fit With Naomi", so I clicked on her link. I saw her before and after pictures and thought, no way. This girl that I just met, couldn't possibly be the one in the pictures. So I began searching around on her page more and clicked on her Beach Body site. I found a TON of before and after pictures of other people and their success stories. I wanted my own. I wanted my before and after pictures, I wanted my success story, I wanted to find ME again! So I contacted her and asked her what it was all about. She explained everything to me, told me about Shakeology and the things that it helped her overcome, she told me a little about her story and she told me how I could get my own. This was it! This is what I needed to help me get back my confidence and get my story.
Now, trying to explain it all to my husband, that was a different story all in itself. Remember, I hid all of my emotions and insecurities from him (and I still have never really talked to him about it), so he had no idea why this was suddenly so important to me, or even that it was important to me. He figured it was just another idea I had come up with on a whim (which I do quite often) and wasn't really serious about it. So naturally, he said no. But I wasn't giving up. I went ahead and ordered the cheapest workout video that I could find, that also somewhat interested me. I was determined to show him that I meant business and that I was ready for a change. I began to change the way that I was eating, the kind of groceries that I bought, the amount that I was eating. Everything. And when that DVD arrived in the mail, the first thing that I did was take a picture and send it to Naomi. I was SOOO excited! I put in the first DVD (it came with two) and I watched it. I made it about 10 min in and I couldn't sit and watch it anymore, I HAD to get up and DO IT. Oh man, that first day, I was DRIPPING with sweat. I hadn't worked out even close to that hard since my freshman year of college when I was in cheerleading, and even that didn't compare to how tired I was when I was done. But wow, did I feel great! Of course, I text Naomi instantly and told her how amazing that felt and how fricken TIRED I was. And she was so encouraging and motivating, that I couldn't wait to do it again the next day and the next. And then she added me into her "accountability" group and everything just fell into place. Instantly, I felt better. I felt happier. Two weeks went by, and I got on the scale...177#. WHAT!??? How in the world did I go UP 5lbs in two weeks!? I almost gave up. I got on the accountability page and I quickly wrote out my frustrations and my disappointment, within 5 min, I had 3-4 people comment and encourage me to keep going (and this was at like 10:30pm, mind you.) and assure me that it was because I was building muscle and reminding me that the scale only tells a small portion of the story. So, I got up the next morning, and I continued with the program. Soon, my clothes started to get a little loose. I was completely ecstatic. I wanted to do more, I wanted to work harder (wait, what? Me? The one who NEVER used the words fitness, working out or eating healthy in a sentence unless it was either led or followed by a no, was wanting to work HARDER!? Who was this person?). But I text Jon one morning and asked if we could get a treadmill. He right away replied with "sure." So I began looking. A few days later, I found one on craigslist for $40, so we went and picked it up. And I began running. I wasn't sure how it would go since I do have asthma and it was always an issue for me in school sports, but I was determined to give it a try. It took me almost a month or two to even be able to run a mile without stopping. I just couldn't do it. But I kept trying. I would do about 45 min of my workout DVDs every morning and then I'd hop on the treadmill after about a 15 min break and start running toward that mile. The first time I reached it, I took a picture and sent it to Naomi. I believe it was a 14 min mile, but I did it. I was so proud. And then a few weeks later, I got to two miles (I did do some interval running), and again, I took a picture and sent it to Naomi. And then I got to three miles (still interval running, and I sent to her again, and then I got to four and then to five. And she was there, cheering me on the entire way! And now, I LOVE running. In fact, I have now done TWO 5ks! Never in my life, would I have ever thought that I would love working out, eating healthy or running! But I do! It has become a complete lifestyle change. In the first 90 days, I lost 18lbs and I went from a 13/14 (sometimes 15) to an 11 (a few styles I can even fit a 9!). And I feel FANTASTIC!
The first time that someone, that had no idea that I was doing anything different, noticed that something was changing about me, I was over the moon! I came home and instantly went to my accountability group and told them all about it!! And then it started happe
ning more and more and my confidence just grew and grew. And the first time that my husband told me that he is proud of me; I cried. He didn't know that because he was at work and I was at home, but when I saw those words on my phone, there was this huge sense of pride and happiness that washed over me and I lost it. I finally felt free. It has now been 4 1/2 month and I am now down 29lbs from my highest weight. I still have more to go to reach my goal, but I have gained so much more since beginning my journey with Beach Body. I now have confidence. I am now able to love who I am. And I am now blessed with the opportunity to help others achieve their goals and reach their freedom. I now have my story. And my first set of before and after pictures. And I have a whole new family to support and motivate me as I continue this journey to the new "me."
